At This Hour
by Anthonia Rex
Summary: The guilt, the ideals. The need for perfection, the need to atone, a driving point. There's nothing left to do but to continue living. Ficlets of an introspective manner. First up, Koenma.
1. Perfection: Koenma

**A/N** So. This will be a series of introspective (read: non-humor) ficlets centered around the Yu Yu Hakusho fandom, each chapter focused on a different character. I can't promise your favorite character will make it on here, or even that I'll be churning them out out at a regular pace, but I'm hoping for good things. Also, I doubt any of these will be non-canon pairings.

I'm not sure how many there will be at this point, but I've already got ideas in mind for Raizen, Hiei, Sensui, and Karasu. Let's just hope inspiration strikes soon.

Disclaimer: Yes, yes, Yu Yu Hakusho and all its respective characters belong to people who are most assuredly not I...

If I was, it wouldn't have stopped at 112 episodes.

First up, Koenma.

* * *

Perfection 

For a while, Koenma wanted to be the perfect son. And for a while, he was good at it. He'd stamp paperwork all day, go to bed for a few hours and then wake up and do it again. When he came of the proper age, his father sent him the various Spirit World delegates to deal with, and he saw them more or less without complaint. For several centuries, he thought only, poor Father, to deal with this all the time. Then he thought, poor me, for helping him. And finally, the only thing Koenma could think was, _how in the three worlds can I get away from all of this?_

Koenma hadn't signed up for this. It was too much. And to know all that he had to look forwards to was an eternity of this, of stamping and complaints and having to be diplomatic _all the fucking time_…

So Koenma took his fun where he could find it, whenever he could possibly get away from all the paperwork. He came to missions with the Reikei Tantei that he didn't have to, bullied the oni at the gate into letting him out whenever time allowed, and with relief booked a room for the entire Dark Tournament when really he only needed to be present at the finals.

He played tricks on the oni. He chewed his pacifier all the time, partially because it could store spirit energy but mostly because it annoyed the important people who would try and talk to him. He was immature and spoiled and ridiculous, because when he grew up, when he _really_ grew up, he'd become the new Enma.

And that scared him even more than his father's temper.

* * *

More to come. 


	2. Denouement: Genkai

Chapter 2- Genkai's turn. A slight touch of artistic license with this one- obviously Genkai, Toguro Ani, and Toguro Ototo were part of the winning team, fifty years back, but Tournament rule says every team must have five members. In one flashback scene, we see both Toguro brothers, Genkai, and another man in the background. The man is short and stocky, and we only see him before the actual tournament- i've named him Chintaro, in this drabble. Yumi is the other team member, and although the name is made up the character is not. Apparently, in the Japanese verion of YYH, the woman who comes to inform Genkai that Yuusuke has been forcibly invited to the Dark Tournament was Genkai's old team member. Feel free to correct me if i'm wrong, since I haven't watched YYH in the original Japanese, but it sounded good to me. ;)

Also, although i've been pretty much out of the YYH fanfic loop for the past year or so, when I DID actively read it there seemed to be a surprising lack of first tournament-era Genkai team fics. Really a lack of Genkai fics at all, actually. Am I really the only one who finds the hypothetical dynamics of Genkai's old team extremely interesting? I'd have really liked to see how Toguro Ani got along with her.

**Extra note**;

Toguro Ani- Toguro the Elder, grey hair, small and freaky.

Toguro Ototo- Toguro the Younger, big, bulky, possibly a romantic situation with Genkai when they were younger (and he was human).

It's really sad when the Author's Note is longer than the fic itself. --

* * *

Denouement

Of the tournament itself, Genkai remembers very little. Only specific bits and pieces float to the forefront. For example…the older brother's soft, surprised laughter the first time someone had begged for their life inside the ring. Yumi, deathly pale in her hospital bed. Chintaro, falling to the floor with a great big hole where his heart used to be. The look in Toguro's eyes when he finally faced Kairen across the ring, and the expression that replaced it when Kairen was dead.

The cheers as, inside her, loss clenched like a fist.

Later that night, they had claimed their prizes. Yumi was staring around her as though she'd been forever without sight, instead of only a few hours. Beside her, Toguro Ani stretched his fingers until they hung like taffy. Toguro Ototo drove a knife into his palm and smiled when the wound closed up.

They were happy with their wishes, but she could think of only one way to be happy with her own.

The next day, she was on the first boat back to the mainland. As far as legacies go, she'd just realized she'd have to make her own.

* * *


	3. Loyalty: Itsuki

Hey ho, #3 is here. This is in the void with Itsuki and Sensui. This was originally much bigger, but the second half's viewpoint was much more extreme than this one, with Itsuki really trying to block out Sensui's death. I'll probably post the other half later.

Itsuki is a very interesting character. This ficlet takes place a while after he first took Sensui's body with him to Limbo. Can someone really stay in a place like that with the corpse of their loved one and remain sane?

Disclaimer in first chapter.

* * *

_Loyalty_

It was quiet here in Limbo. One of the perks of being a psychic gatekeeper was that there weren't many of them, and so Itsuki and Sensui were hardly ever bothered. That was what Itsuki had wanted, why he'd brought Sensui here, so that they could be together and alone.

If he tried hard enough, Itsuki _could_ remember a man, a talented man smelling of the Reikai. He'd tried to speak to Itsuki, tried to bring him food, tried to make him let go of Sensui. He was a fool. Itsuki hadn't noticed when he left, and that had been a long, long time ago.

Now it was empty. There was no heat, no cold, only the pressing insistence of nothing. Things didn't change there- Itsuki was never hungry, never thirsty, and Sensui was as limp and whole as when Itsuki had first embraced him. That was nice, but Itsuki still wished he would wake up. One day he would, Itsuki was sure.

Until then, they drifted.

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End file.
